Why Do Catholics Behave the Way They Do?

I should have known right away I had made a mistake.missal to avoid having to touch someone she didn't
It was a cold Sunday in November, and I was visiting inknow.
Fayetteville, N.C. Following directions from my host, IAlso, with the unique behavior of us Catholics, when
found the church and pulled into the parking lot. When Ithe Mass ends ("thank God, it's over"), we clear out as
walked in, I was met by a greeter with a smile thatif we have heard a fire alarm. Three minutes after the
lighted up the day.end of a service, the janitor can arrive in and start
"Good morning! And how are you today? I'm Bobcleaning up. In sunny Florida, where I occasionally
Sullivan and it's great to have you with us."attend a Methodist Church with my sister, the
Warmed by this Southern hospitality, I made my wayworshippers linger for a good while after the service
to a pew and sat down. As I glanced around at theto visit with one another.
other parishioners, I sensed I was being accepted as aThere are rare exceptions. Before starting his Mass at
welcomed guest. I looked down at the red prayerthe popular Saint Bernadette Parish in Seattle, Father
book. Whoops! I was in an Episcopal Church.Jim devotes five minutes for "getting to know you." He
Embarrassed, I left and hurriedly drove to the Catholicinstructs those in the congregation to stand up and
Church two blocks away. As I went up the steps, Iintroduce themselves to everyone within reach. He
was monitored by a solemn looking usher.says, "Tell them who you are and what you do. Then
"You are late!" he announced in a voice loud enough tofind out something about them."
be heard back at the Episcopal Church. With loweredInstantly, the church becomes alive and resounds with
eyes, I expressed by guilt and muttered an apology asthe sound of happy talk. Each person shares with
I passed him. No response. Throughout the service andanother. Then, as if by magic, the group becomes a
until I got in my car and drove away, I was treated likecomfortable community of believers.
a trespasser meriting suspicion. I felt at home.If you want to see an expression of shock, try this out
Within the Catholic Church, I am curious whynext Sunday. As you leave the parking lot and make
eighty-nine percent of the parishioners embrace to theyour way to the church, say hello to two or three
concept that each believer is an island. Also,strangers. Last week, I did this and this is what
seventy-one percent appear to be saying "And stayhappened:
the hell off my beach!" If Jesus had behaved like theAn elderly woman in gray silk to whom I said "Good
majority of us Catholics, his only followers would havemorning" took a moment to recover her balance from
been stray dogs and those looking for a handout.the jolt of hearing my voice. She clutched her black
My Aunt Mary was a good example of this. She washandbag close to her chest and with reluctance gave
a lifetime devout Irish-Catholic (one word in the Catholicme a tight smile. She then hurried into the church like a
vocabulary). Whenever she was upset, the phrasesand crab scurrying into a hole.
"Oh, Holy Mary, Mother of God" rolled with ease offWhen I gave a friendly hello to a portly man, he looked
the tip of her tongue. If frustrated, she'd call in theannoyed. He glanced at me with an expression which
whole family - "Oh Jesus, Mary, Joseph!" And whensaid, "Who the devil are you - some kind of a wise
the Church initiated the "handshake of peace", sheguy?" Then he nodded and gruffly echoed my
wouldn't have been more offended if the Pope hadgreeting.
approved of polygamy.In no way am I critical of our behavior as today's
She was a person who always knew the answerCatholics. Through many years I have learned to
before asking a question. So she would say withaccept it as the norm. And seventy-nine percent of
confidence, "Tell me, please - now just what doesthose who read this will agree with me that there is no
shaking hands with a complete stranger have to doneed to change. However, I occasionally ask myself
with religion?" To confirm her disapproval of thiswhy we are as we are.
practice, at that time during Mass she would fakeUnfortunately, I'm not like Aunt Mary.
contemplation by burying her well-groomed head in a